...You give and take away....

Over the past 14 months of motherhood, I've learned a lot about a lot of things. Frankly, things I didn't even know I needed to know, and things that I didn't necessary want to know. But, there have also been some things that have been really fun to learn and realize. I have to say one of the greatest realizations that I am constantly struck with is the Fatherhood of God. I have been reminded so many times of His role as "Father" in my life as I make a feeble and often lacking attempt to be a parent to Laurel. Over the past 3 days, I have been yet again reminded of this as we have embarked on quite possibly our greatest (definitely our loudest) battle yet...the breaking of the pacifier.

I remember the first fews days with Laurel in the hospital. Little Bit wanted nothing to do with the green pacifier everyone gets at the hospital. I of course had heard the cries of "don't let your baby have the terrible pacifier...she will never want to nurse" from everyone, but at 3 AM when she had already been crying for two hours and I was alone in a hospital room, I could have really cared less what anyone had to say. I could've kissed the nurse that got her to take one. I so remember just asking her in shock "how in the world did you do that?"

She hasn't been over the top about her pacifier, and in fact, she hasn't used it except for sleeping in months. But, it has definitely been her best friend to sleep. So, at her 1 year doctor's appointment, when her doctor said "get rid of her pacifier by 15 months", my stomach hit the floor. I knew these days wouldn't be pretty. But, I told myself that we would be obedient to the pediatrician for once and get rid of it. In fact, we'd do it a month early so I could be the good mom that could easily say at the 15 month appointment "we've been rid of that thing for SO long"(aka...days now). And that brings us to this week....the beginning of April...one more month until the 15 month appointment. I had decided to take Thursday off from work to make up for some missed days off while mission teams were in, and I figured it was as good of time as any to throw out the beloved pacifiers. After all, I wasn't going to make anyone else listen to her scream and refuse to sleep without it. So, Wednesday night was night one. She was so exhausted from school that day that she almost instantly went to sleep. The tough times came when she woke up. Typically she crawls all around her crib to find the pacifier to get her back to sleep. That night, it was no where to be found. She cried from 10:30-11:30 and then a couple of times in the middle of the night. Thursday nap time involved another 40 minute crying fest, 30 minutes of sleep, 15 minutes of tears, another 45 minutes of sleep. Not near enough of a nap. But, enough crying to block up her little tear ducts, leaving gooey eye boogers through the rest of the day. Thursday night, she slept better, only a short cry before passing slick out face first, bottom up in crib. And, the good news is she slept all night! PTL! Poor little puddin' was so sleepy all morning, though. She nearly racked out at lunch, barely keeping her eyes open as she ate her chicken and veggies. But, when she got to bed, she had a rough go of it....20 minutes of crying, about an hour of sleep and then another bout of crying. I finally broke down and went to get her, only to have her emotionally break down in my arms. After about 20 minutes of me rubbing her back and her little body shaking with sobs, she wore herself out and went back to sleep. Which brings us to right now. As I rubbed her little back, knowing she would instantly go to sleep if I just gave her a stinking pacifier, I was reminded that's not what is best. And, while I seem really mean in her little world by not giving her the thing she wants the most, I can see a bigger picture of straight teeth, self soothing, and peaceful sleep. And I was reminded of how often I want things that I think I can't live without...even throw crying screaming fits (on the inside if not on the outside), and wonder why God can't just throw me a bone and give me what I want. And I have remembered and been thankful that He sees such a bigger picture than I ever will, and he sometimes throws away my pacifiers because He knows that life without that thing will be ultimately better than life with it.

And, while that all sounds well and good...we probably still have a few days of crying for a pacifier ahead of us....

Bad hair day?

Walking, talking, using the restroom on her own...these are all things that the little one has not mastered yet as a one year old. But there are a few things she is incredibly good at...laughing, throwing food, waving, saying "daddy", playing ball with Toby, and the 2 most notable...growing hair and teeth. We have all of our first molars, and I'm pretty sure the little incisors are about to rear their heads. And, then the hair. Laurel was born with a good amount of hair, including her trademark mullet. She lost all of the top hair, making her look a little like an old man on top, but then at about 7 months, her hair started growing. And once it started, it has yet to stop. There have seriously been days when Kevin and I get her up and swear that she has gotten more hair overnight. As it has grown, it has gotten more "body" (aka...out of control!). It's really funny to hear people's response to it. The polite ones will comment on how she has so much pretty hair. The others will say something along the lines of "when are you going to cut it"...haha. Nice try. Little girl doesn't even let me brush it...I can't imagine letting someone near her head with scissors as she violently shakes her head back and forth when you come close. The days that she actually has a barrette in her hair to keep it out of her face are nothing short of a miracle. A feat of quick and masterful hands while she is too busy with something else to notice. And, just in case you can't appreciate her wild hair, I decided to throw in a picture from when she woke up a few mornings ago. I promise...this is EXACTLY how she woke up.

3 bandaids, a cotton ball, and a blister….

…who knew being 1 was such an ordeal?





I know it’s been a while, and much has happened in the Parker Household in the past couple of months, so this post will be an attempt to catch you up and relieve myself of some serious blog-guilt.



So, we’ll start with Christmas…We got a special gift this year in that Kevin was able to be off for our anniversary, Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve and Christmas, and New Year’s eve. I tried to really enjoy it, knowing that this will most likely never happen again. We went to Austin to see Kevin’s parents. We decided that driving in the middle of the night after Kevin got off work at 11 was the best way to get there and spend the most time with the family and mess up Little Bit’s routine the least. That whole theory was contingent on her immediately going back to sleep when we got into the car. No such luck. Once we woke her up at 11 and got her in the car, she was wide awake. Not crying or anything, just wide awake. Until Smithville…which is over halfway to Austin. Needless to say, there was an extra nap involved the next day. Christmas was great…Laurel wasn’t quite sure what to do with the presents, and tissue paper was the best gift of all. The day after Christmas we drove straight to the airport, and Laurel and I headed to Missouri to see my family. This was my first flight without an extra baggage hauler, so I was a bit nervous. I was so thankful that some of our friends, Curtis and Amanda, were on the exact same flights all the way to Springfield, which meant I could go to the restroom without carrying everything I own. Such a blessing!



Missouri was great…Laurel charmed all the grandparents and great-grandparents. And, we returned with suitcases MUCH heavier than we left with. The miracle of the trip was at no point in any of the airports was any of our baggage weighed. And let me tell you, if it would have been, there would have been some extra fees to be paid. Missouri is always so bittersweet…I love my family there, love being around them, love watching Laurel around them, and hate to leave…but also, hate to think about leaving life as we know it here. Maybe one day they’ll all move south…I know, wishful thinking.



As the new year arrived, we got some other new additions…molars. I am so thankful these guys are almost all in. Laurel has been chewing on everything and is now an emotional roller coaster. The new favorite part of the day is when she gets Tylenol before bed and the favorite teething toy is my shoulder…it’s nice and bony, right at mouth height when I pick her up.



And, the biggest news of all…Laurel turned one on February 6th. I have no idea where this year has gone…it is honestly a blur. There are some moments I am so thankful have passed, and some that I would give anything to have back again. She has been such a joy to my heart and taught me so many things about life and priorities. We have yet to have her birthday party…that will come next weekend. But, we did have a cake experience…and what an experience it was! I bought her a cupcake for the day (I’ll be a good mom and make the cake next week). It was pre-equipped with a candle, covered in purple icing…perfect for a 1-year-old mess. I lit the candle and blew it out in front of her to show her what to do, set the cupcake in front of her, re-lit it, and instead of blowing, she reached up before we could stop her and put out the tiny flame with her fingers. The ensuing screams and meltdown prevented any cake from being eaten. She still bears the remnants of a blister on her little index finger. Hopefully the cake experience at the party will go better.



Finally, as a 1-year-old, we had to go to our 1-year check up with the pediatrician. I had heard rumor of what happens at this appointment and was not at all looking forward to it. Three shots later, we had to get blood taken like a big girl. That’s right…rubberband around the arm, drawing blood like you’re giving it. Apparently, Little Bit has “tough veins” because it took at least 5 minutes to get the needle to go into the vein. 5 minutes of screaming (not that I blame her!). But, all is well now…just a tiny bruise to remind us that she is not a baby anymore. Nope…21 lbs 10 oz and 29 ¾” long of a toddler.

If time flies when you're having fun...

...then we must be having a stinking blast.

I've been reminded this week about how quickly time is going by these days. First of all, what happened to November? Does anybody else feel this way? I feel like I blinked and all of the sudden it's Christmas. I remember when the month between Thanksgiving and Christmas was the longest month ever. I thought it would never get here. Now, I can't even keep up with the "Christmas Countdown" sign on my door.

Next, Laurel turned 10 months old today. Overnight, she turned into a little girl. I look back at pictures of her from her first few weeks, and it seems like she should still be there. But, no...she's a little wild woman. Wild hair... wild babbling, wild laughing, wild yelling at Toby the dog...just wild. She finally started crawling this week...a little late, yes. But, she's been too busy studying every little detail of everything around her. Why in the world did she need to move? This week, however, she decided she was ready to go, and she has only stopped to sleep.

The other big milestone in the Parker household this week is that Kevin and I celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary on Thursday. I have to say that it feels like our wedding was longer than 4 years ago. I would guess it feels that way because we have had our share of change over the past 4 years....we are currently living in our 4th residence, I'm on my 3rd job, Kevin's on his 5th. I am glad to say the past 2 years have been much more stable, and that probably has a lot to do with the next milestone....I am quickly approaching my 29th birthday. I guess we can't live in restlessness our whole lives....eventually we have to grow up and settle down. And,in less than 2 weeks, I will be entering my last year in my 20's. Twenty-nine sounds older than I think I should be. I remember being in high school and thinking about being in my late 20's, mostly thinking I would have it all figured out by the time I was this old. Hmm...still working on that one.

I'm just going to go out on a limb here and say that my blogging track record shows that this may be the last time you hear from me this month. Hopefully not. Hopefully I will be good and keep you posted on what's going on in our world, but as this month flies by and I try to cram in all the Christmas music I can into my ears, I may not find time to blog again. And, because I just ordered my Christmas cards (I know, most of you overachievers have already mailed yours), there's a good chance you won't even get a Christmas card in time. So, in light of all that, I hope and pray you have a wonderful Christmas season. Take time and enjoy it! 

Gratitude

Send some rain, would You send some rain?
'Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again
And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade
Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?
Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down
Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid
But maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case ...

We'll give thanks to You with gratitude
For lessons learned in how to thirst for You
How to bless the very sun that warms our face
If You never send us rain

Daily bread, give us daily bread
Bless our bodies, keep our children fed
Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight
Wrap us up and warm us through
Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs
Let us slumber safe from danger's view this time
Or maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case ...

We'll give thanks to You with gratitude
A lesson learned to hunger after You
That a starry sky offers a better view
If no roof is overhead
And if we never taste that bread

Oh, the differences that often are between
Everything we want and what we really need

So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace
Move our hearts to hear a single beat
Between alibis and enemies tonight
Or maybe not, not today
Peace might be another world away
And if that's the case ...

We'll give thanks to You with gratitude
For lessons learned in how to trust in You
That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream
In abundance or in need
And if You never grant us peace ...

But, Jesus, would You please ...

I recently made a "running" playlist on my ipod. Basically, it's about 4 hours of music to run to, because I was getting really tired of searching for songs that would keep me going on my early morning runs. I've discovered that I'm a little picky about what I listen to while running. But, this is one of the songs that made the cut. It's called "Gratitude" by Nichole Nordeman. This morning, it captured my attention during my run, and I replayed it a couple of times because it was resonating in my heart so strongly. I've thought about this song all day, and tonight as I watch the electoral votes stack up for each presidential candidate, it still resounds. The portion that's bolded above is what first caught my attention, particularly as I've taken in all of the election talk. We've talked in our office about how fearful people seem these days....financial crisis...war...election...all of which are valid reasons to be afraid. But, a thought that keeps running through my head is a phrase that I feel like the Lord gave me a few years ago during a particularly confusing and tough time in my own personal life..."We don't respond as if we are people who have no hope." I feel like we forget that what we want may not be necessarily what we need...that maybe all of this is just a lesson to learn of how to trust in Him....an opportunity to understand that we are blessed beyond we could ever dream in abundance or in need. So, my encouragement to all of us (including/especially me) is that no matter what, we respond as though we are people who have hope, because, indeed, we do. 

...and if You never grant us peace....but Jesus, would you please...

A Fun Weekend...

It's been a busy and fun weekend in the Parker house. Yesterday marked Laurel's first Halloween, and she celebrated as a little lioness cub. I would love to say there was a deep and meaningful reason for her costume, but it basically boiled down to good old compromise. After searching through the plethora of infant costumes online, Kevin gave 3 choices...the lion, a whoopie cushion, or a hot dog. Do you now see why she was a lioness? I'm sure she would have made an adorable hot dog or whoopie cushion, but she was also pretty dang cute as a lioness, if I do say so myself. Kevin had to work during our church's fall festival, so the Altics were kind enough to let us tag along as part of the fam. Jayk was Curious George. I'm not sure which one was more enthralled with the other in costume.



Today, we visited Discovery Green in downtown Houston. The weather has been amazing here in Houston, so we've been trying to do as much as possible outside. There are lots of great sculptures down there, so we took the opportunity to take some fun pics....

We'll teach table manners later...

Tonight at dinner, the little bit took matters into her own hands....literally. She has this incredibly independent side to her little personality (I have no idea where in the world she got that) and she decided she was fully capable of feeding herself, thank you very much. So, enjoy the first attempts at self-feeding, and be thankful you didn't have to clean up after her:).